Goodbye, teen

Caught once again in between time zones, Paul’s coffee and orgasmic quiche comforts me as I realize that I’ve officially reached my 20th year. It’s quite funny really, having an extended birthday from travelling across the continents, having friends and family send their messages at different moments. The past week leading up to this day has been a mix of everything, a questioning of the self, and how far I’ve personally come to eventually leave the teenage years behind, even more significantly so as I return home today upon completion of my first year abroad in London; a rush to tick off the last few bits of my list ‘things to do before hitting 20’ (indeed, an individual of lists I am), and of course the inevitable mad packing before departing from university halls.

So have I ticked off enough? Well, to be honest, the majority of it has been, but there were also a few other events which I never did foresee when first forming the list, of which I have also added onto, and also a few others which I will need to pursue in due course. The thing about life indeed is that you never can tell what lies ahead, even as much as we plan and implement the plan, circumventing instances do occur, sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad – but in retrospect, everything complements the life experience.

How does it feel?
“Daddy, I’m getting older..I think I might have a mid life crisis soon!”
“What nonsense! You’re still Daddy’s girl, anything changed?

And that’s sweet ol’ Daddy for you, the philosopher who has always been the guiding hand from the days of Cabbage Patch Dolls to the headaches of multiple boyfriends.

But in serious contemplation, I would say the mark of this day needs to be considered over a span of first hitting teen, and now leaving it. Whilst many would still find 20 much too early to reflect upon, I disagree in that there is always benefit in reflection; even if one hasn’t quite reached the deep end of the pool, the experience of first toying with fear in shallow waters is a milestone to account for.

And one of the most important achievements to me on a personal note, is I think the greater comfort and confidence in my own skin- to be able to pursue my own desires, do things in my own distinct way without fear of judgement, rejection or failure. Of course, I still have my share of insecurities, but the marked difference is that I am aware of these relatively minor insecurities, and know how best to deal with them. I’ve come to understand the workings of the superficial, and whilst building upon dreams and relishing the diversity of those around, I can still enjoy thoroughly the company of the self at the end of the day. Yet, all this goes without saying undoubtedly that there is still much of the world to devour, much to learn.

“Wind down the window now, let the wind caress my skin, take me in its direction, for me to find my own way”

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light

The Reader

I tend to pick up books randomly, regardless of the author and the novel's current popularity. It's always satisfying to find hidden amongst the piles of old, forgotten books in the corner of a charity shop or small bookstore, a treasure of which surfaces with each page flipped. And that was the very case for me with the book , 'The Reader' by Bernard Schlink (of which now has become a film, I've just watched). Years ago, I sat upon the wooden staircase of the neighbourhood bookstore and indulged in the twists and turns of the life of Michael Berg - a young teen drawn into a love affair with an older, illiterate woman, Hanna who enjoys his reading to her. A love affair that is as intoxicating as it is unusual, yet beautiful in its complexity of which stems from her confusion as a lady struggling in her own skin and his anxious passion.

The plot is interwoven with pangs of guilt and loss, drawing in from Hanna's involvement in the belated Nazi war crime trials. She is sentenced to prison for playing a role as guard in the concentration camp, of which Michael who learns of her fate continues to be haunted with emotional numbness. To help himself through nights of insomnia he begins to read his favorite books aloud into a tape recorder, and he sends the tapes to Hanna in prison. The bond between the two is continued in this unique way until Hanna's release from prison, when, in the face of Michael's ambivalence and Hanna's shame, their story reaches its anguished conclusion.

"A parable of German guilt and atonement and a love story of stunning power, The Reader is also a work of literature that is unforgettable in its psychological complexity, its moral nuances, and its stylistic restraint."

A beautiful piece indeed, but frustrating in that so many questions are raised in the way law and morality conducts itself. In fact, this follows the heated conversation my friends and I shared over lunch :

' Who is to blame?'
'It is not the guards themselves that decided who was to be sent to Auschwitz, they merely carried out what they had to do.. but it is the entire society, that omitted from doing anything, that are to be blamed."
'The power, the greed, it is not to be identified with Hitler alone, but his cronies, and those who stood by him'
'The pain that follows, the images that continue to etch in memory..can you imagine?'


.....sighs.Goodnight all.

Embracing the sunshine, breathing in the joy

It's been awhile since I've last posted anything on this little space I like to call my own in the infinity of the web. Reason being of course, the inevitable tide of my LLB examinations, which went sufficiently well for me (crosses fingers and toes and everything else). The truth is, with a degree, you will never know where you stand until after your first year, with little guidance, and tutors with varying standards (some even unwilling! yes dears, no spoonfeeding at all). I can only hope, and believe that since I have been managing the grade on the average, this would manifest itself into positive reality!



Well then, enough about examinations! The past few days since emancipation has been spent basking in the glorious sun with girlfriends, making random trips to friends' places in the outskirts of London, indulging in the essential retail therapy; and simply catching up on life that was missed. And how amazing it has been! The entire weight of work lifted of the shoulders, with nothing but satiating the curiousity for the bustling city that was kept within for way too long.

And then this thought striked me- how we allow ourselves to be so easily influenced emotionally by our milieu, the circumstances we find ourselves in, the ebbs and flows of life that move us so drastically; but then again, without such emotive responses and overreactive drama, where lies the passion for life? The meaning of which we envelope ourselves within, or at least that search for meaning and purpose?

"But don't you see, I am happy now, happier than happiest can be"

Shall add in my list of things to do in the summer in a bit; today begins with a summer dress on, and meeting with friends for possibly Bodyworks!
HOUSEMATES in Essex!!

"Would you hold on please, dear time?"

I'm sitting here with my cheer shoes still on, my sheets waiting to be folded, my groceries left to be filled into the cupboards, and my law notes calling out to be sorted and revised. As usual, my planner is out on the table staring me in the face: 3 performances left for the term, a streetlaw presentation, varsity, one last networking event, prospectus and budget revision for the club, the upcoming career fair, and charity event. And of course, EXAMS. Which I am most definitely feeling insecure about - will there be time?

These few days have been spent rethinking the idea of the university experience, and my personal aims to be achieved in my 3 years abroad. The fact that the first year is almost over made me realize how short a period 3 years really is- and how I do need to make each moment count. But what does making each moment count mean?

Whilst having a nice picnic in Hyde Park, a dear girlfriend brought up the point of how for many of us scholars, we've worked hard from the time we were in primary school, all the way through college to secure a scholarship for the opportunity to experience life and education abroad. And hence, the time here should be spent gaining greater exposure, enriching one's life beyond the books. Indeed, to excel in the world of academia is essential, but it should not be at the expense of an all-encompassing experience. Yes, I've used the word more than once - but that goes to show the great emphasis of this argument: that it is the experience that is important.

Travelling, seeing the world with fresh new eyes, understanding the many ways in which things are done, enhancing personal skills and forming networks, enriching the self.
Breathing. Living.

Things aren't easy. Things are never easy. But it's about taking things a step at a time.


Just glad winter is done with..bring on more sunshine please!

"I want to speak of that..It's funny, Howard, next spring it will be three years that you've been here. Well, have I taught you anything? I'll tell you: I've taught you a great deal and nothing. No one can teach you anything, not at the core, at the source of it. What you're doing-it's yours, not mine, I can teach you to do it better, I can give you the means, but the aim, the aim's your own..."

Tell me what you want in your years in Uni peeps! Do you agree with the stereotypical phrase of "uni- the best time of your life"?

The meaning of sacrifice

Conservative Party leader David Cameron's disabled son Ivan has died, it was announced today.
A party spokesman said: "It is with great sadness that David and Samantha Cameron must confirm the death of their six-year-old son Ivan.
"Ivan, who suffered from cerebral palsy and severe epilepsy, was taken ill overnight and died at St Mary's Hospital, Paddington, early this morning.

David Cameron, you have my deepest condolences.

Truly, it isn't easy caring for children, what more in circumstances of disability.

It changes the way one lives his individual life in entirety- points of high where there can be a glimmer of hope in improvement, and points of low where there seems not a soul within the very body that needs your care and undying attention.

Are you able to sacrifice that much of yourself?

And are you being absolutely selfless- or selfish in wanting to be needed all the time by the other, somehow convincing yourself that this is the meaning of your existence?

I remember asking my high school mates this exact question:

"If you were pregnant with a disabled child, would you abort the child, or keep him? At what stage do you personally believe that foetus has a soul that must be respected?"

Knowing thyself

What brings you closer to knowing yourself, and the essence of what makes you who you are? What if all this while, you realize that time really hasn't shown you half the truth of what once was thought to be the foundation of all that you believed in?

Let it not crumble, but embrace the moment of silent discovery with that chin up high.

On another note, an excellent article about the recent Perak Crisis by art-harun which deserves a good read:

The Perak Crisis - an unsolicited legal opinion


The disagreement between the Terengganu palace and the BN's leadership over the choice of the Menteri Besar last year prompted Malik Imtiaz to write Crisis In Trengganu? What crisis? on his blog, Disquiet. I had taken a differing view than that which was taken by Imtiaz in that article. Basically I was, and still am, of the opinion that the role of the Rulers in the political arena should be approached with a degree of circumspection. I posted 2 comments to that post and it would not be out of place to reproduce a part of my comments here: "The notion that the Rulers are a part of check and balance mechanism to the wide powers of the executives is to me, wishful at best. The reality is the Rulers are not part of the administration of the country. The check and balance mechanism embedded into our system (and every democracy with a constitutional monarch) only consists of the executive, legislative and of course, the judiciary (in some Scandinavian countries, an ombudsman is an integral part as well).....To adopt a literal approach would vest a certain level of absolute power in the Ruler where such power does not exist in the first place.

Can we imagine a situation where the Ruler may decide mid-term to change an MB because he thinks that MB does not command the confidence of the majority anymore?

We are now riding the populist wave of a political reform yet unseen before. It is a result of deep rooted anger against the BN government. But lets not allow our emotion to colour our judgement by creating, or allowing to create, a dangerous precedent, a precedent which we all may live to regret later." The looming constitutional crisis in Perak now underscores my sentiment exactly. The Power of The Sultan to Appoint the MB Article 16 of the Perak Constitution says that the Sultan shall appoint the Executive Council ("EC"). He must first appoint as Menteri Besar from the members of the Legislative Assembly who "in his judgment is likely to command the confidence of the majority of the members of the Assembly." Then on the advice of the MB, the Sultan shall appoint other members of the EC. We stop at this juncture to consider this provision. The Sultan did not have to ensure that the potential MB does command the confidence of the majority. The word "likely" in the above provision gives a certain level of subjectivity to the whole process. And quite how the Sultan was to perform that function is not spelt out. Article 16 (6) is very important. It says: "If the MB ceases to command the confidence of the majority of the members of the Legislative Assembly, then, unless at his request His Royal Highness dissolves the Legislative Assembly, he shall tender the resignation of the Executive Council." If we could now look at this provision closely. There is no subjectivity here. It does not say, for example, "if the Sultan is of the opinion that the MB ceases to command the confidence of the Assembly", or "if it is likely that the MB has ceased to command the confidence of the Assembly". It says clearly that "if the MB ceases to command". That means this provision kicks in only and only if, it could be factually proven that the MB has ceased to command the confidence of the Legislative Assembly. In other word, the Sultan is not imbued with the power to make his own subjective judgment over this fact and matter . For this provision to operate, it must be established as a fact that the MB has ceased to command the confidence of the Assembly. How is that fact established then?

In countries practising the Westminster typed democracy, this fact is established with a vote of no confidence on the floor of the Assembly. Next to be examined is Article 16 (7). It says: "Subject to Clause (6) a member of the Executive Council other than the MB shall hold office at His Royal Highness' pleasure, but any member of the Council may at any time resign his office." It is of paramount importance to note that only the MB does not hold office at the pleasure of the Sultan. From a literal reading of this article, it is clear that the Sultan may therefore sack any member of the Executive Council but not the MB.

Can the Sultan Ask the MB to Resign?

With all due respect to HRH the Sultan of Perak, I don't think the Sultan has the power to ask for the resignation of the MB. It has been argued elsewhere that the provision of the Interpretation Act 1948 would give the power to the Sultan to dismiss the MB. While I concede that section 94 of that Act gives the power to dismiss in every instant where a power to appoint exists, it must be remembered that the Interpretation Act does not apply "where there is something in the subject or context inconsistent with or repugnant to the application" of the Interpretation Act. Where is the context inconsistent with the application of the Interpretation Act here? The answer lies with Article 16 (7) above. It is clear that the MB does not hold office at the pleasure of the Sultan as opposed to the other members of the Assembly. Had it been intended that the Sultan should have the power to dismiss the MB as well as the other members of the Executive Council, Article 16 (7) would not have made such a glaring and clear exception so as to expressly preclude the MB from the operation of that Article.

Excercise of the Sultan's Powers

There are 2 broad categories of powers which the Sultan is vested with. The first type are powers which the Sultan shall act in accordance with the advice of the Executive Council. There is no discretionary power here. Whenever the Sultan is advised to exercise these powers, the Sultan has no choice but to exercise that power in accordance with the advice given. Secondly there are powers which the Sultan may exercise in his discretion. These powers include: power to appoint the MB power to withhold his consent to a request for the dissolution of the Assembly.Here lies the problem. The MB has requested the Sultan to dissolve the Assembly but the Sultan has refused to do so and had asked the MB to resign instead.

Was the Sultan Right?

A case law, decided by our Court in 1966 bears important resemblance to the crisis in Perak now. In Stephen Kalong Ningkan v. Tun Abang Haji Openg and Tawi Sli [1966] 2 MLJ 187, the Governor of Sarawak received a letter signed by 21 members of the Council Negri (equivalent to the Legislative Assembly) expressing no confidence in Stephen Kalong Ningkan as the Chief Minister. The Governor then asked Stephen to resign. Stephen refused to resign. The Governor then declared that Stephen and all the members of the Supreme Council (equivalent to the Executive Council) as having ceased to hold office. A new Chief Minister was then appointed by the Governor. The case ended up in the High Court where among others, a declaration that the purported dismissal of Stephen as the Chief Minister was ultra vires the Constitution and was therefore null and void. The Sarawak Constitution contain provisions which are almost identical to the provisions of the Perak Constitution. Article 6 (3) provides: "The Governor shall appoint an Chief Minister a member of the Council Negri who in his judgment in likely to command the confidence of a majority of the members of the Council Negri and shall appoint the other members in accordance with the advice of the Chief Minister from among the members of the Council Negri." By Article 7, it is provided as follows: "(1) If the Chief Minister ceases to command the confidence of a majority of the members of the Council Negri, then, unless at his request the Governor dissolves the Council Negri, the Chief Minister shall tender the resignation of the members of the Supreme Council. (2) A member of the Supreme Council may at any time resign his office by writing under his hand addressed to the Governor, and a member of the Supreme Council other than the Chief Minister shall also vacate his office if his appointment thereto in revoked by the Governor acting in accordance with the advice of the Chief Minister. (3) Subject to cll (1) and (2), a member of the Supreme Council other than the Chief Minister shall hold office at the Governor's pleasure." Notice the almost identical provisions. It has to be noted that the Sarawak Constitution also provides, (as do the Perak Constitution) that the Chief Minister does not hold office at the pleasure of the Governor. The Court held as follows: i) for Article 7 (1) to kick in, there must be a vote of no confidence from the floor of the Assembly. Mere letters signed by the members of the Assembly expressing no confidence to the Governor was not sufficient. ii) the Governor had no power to dismiss the Chief Minister under the Constitution. iii) the purported dismissal of the CM was then ultra vires the Sarawak state Constitution. What is even more important is the learned Judge's observation in respect of the exercise by the Governor of his discretionary power to appoint a CM and to withhold his consent when there is a request to dissolve the Assembly. This is what His Lordship said: "A lot has been said about the duty and powers and discretion of the Governor. His paramount duty is to "act in accordance with the advice of the Supreme Council or of a member thereof acting under the general authority of the Council". (Article 10(1). There are two occasions when the Governor has a discretion, that is, when he can act without, or even contrary to, the advice of the Supreme Council.

Those occasions are in the performance of the following functions - (a) the appointment of a Chief Minister; (b) the withholding of consent to a request for the dissolution of the Council Negri. (Article 10 (2) ). As regards (a), nobody could be so foolish as to suggest that a Governor could appoint a second Chief Minister while there was still one in office. As regards (b), this probably has in mind a situation of splinter parties, as has been the case in France, when a general election could not be expected to show an overall majority for any one party. In Sarawak, it seems to me that a Chief Minister may advise a dissolution, even though he has not as yet lost the confidence of Council Negri. In such circumstances, the Governor's refusal to dissolve might be conventionally unconstitutional, although not illegal." This is still good law as this decision has never been overturned by a higher Court.

Conclusion

With the greatest of respect to HRH the Sultan of Perak, it would appear that the above case law does not lend support to the actions which have so far been taken in Perak. I would like to end this post by quoting R H Hickling from his excellent book, "Malaysian Law" (Professional Law Books Publishers 1988), where he said: "The advent of constitutional government in Malaysia marked the beginning of the end for the prerogatives of the Rulers. While assiduously reserving these prerogatives by express savings in the state constitutions, the very act of defining rights and powers restrict them. With the advent of formal constitutions government in Johor in 1895, limitations on arbitrary rules set in, and the pattern was set for progress to the modern concept of constitutional government: that is to say, not merely government in accordance with the provisions of the constitution, but government in accordance with the wishes of the elected representatives of the people."

Trees in the garden

I was flipping through some of D.H Lawrence's best works in between my habitual Sunday life reorganization and came acoss Trees in the Garden, one of my favourites:

Ah in the thunder air
how still the trees are!
And the lime-tree, lovely and tall, every leaf silent
hardly looses even a last breath of perfume.
And the ghostly, creamy coloured little tree of leaves
white, ivory white among the rambling greens
how evanescent, variegated elder, she hesitates on the green grass
as if, in another moment, she would disappear
with all her grace of foam!
And the larch that is only a column, it goes up too tall to see:
and the balsam-pines that are blue with the grey-blue blueness of
things from the sea,
and the young copper beech, its leaves red-rosy at the ends
how still they are together, they stand so still
in the thunder air, all strangers to one another
as the green grass glows upwards, strangers in the silent garden.
Lichtental

happy belated valentine's my loves!

(So what if it's a commercial ploy? It breaks the routine life, and gives us all a moment to reflect and remember. Whilst there should be appreciation of the significant half every other day, this very thought would not have come about without this very celebration blown all over the media and what not. I say, stop the bitterness, embrace it! Valentine's Day should be enjoyed in your own unique way, you define what it's all about without unnecessary dissapointment and expectation.

Live your own life, the way you choose it.)

Cheer Competition 14/02/09 : KCL Lions, Let's Go!

Shrugging things off

Brown: Crosby recommended as "outstanding intellect" ?

I enjoy tuning in to the weekly Question Time on BBC every Wednesday, hearing how the fellow backbenchers and MPs raise harsh criticisms ,effectively putting the Prime Minister and the government on the spot in angling sharp queries. Whilst it is understood that these questions have been filtered through, there is at least that level of transparency and accountability on the part of the government. Most issues are put out into the open, reflecting the fundamental freeedom of speech, and presenting a platform for check-and-balance of the democatically elected. The public is thus put into the loop of the matters that concern them, creating that level of awareness- of both sides of the spectrum. (versus only the biased view of the governing party)

Even for a nation so entrenched in tradition and certain archaic principles, I find this system of open questioning a breath of fresh air after ridiculous stories of how offensive politicians back home were locked away simply for voicing out their views. Whilst it isn't absolutely true to claim that political discourse in Malaysia is limited, we aren't blameless for such a stereotype. It is the tendency to react from the skin, getting mad and defensive before effectively reaching the root of the issue professionally. The inability to shrug things off outside the arena, which must be addressed to fully move forward.

A cool intelligent stand must be taken consistently, as once seen in the anti-palm oil campaign in the states; even if that means washing some dirty linen in the public to ensure decisions are carefully made accounting for all issues at hand.

"Take what you do seriously, but don't take yourself too seriously" - my father often says to me.